Early arrival to work.

Earlier than normal, at least.

It feels like I have all the time in the world.

The awareness of time probably works against me, but not in a way that I am initially aware.

A task seemingly slow to finish is done before lunch. The nail in the coffin in the shape of an email feels eternal.

Part of the struggle today was figuring out what music to listen to. It was a struggle that I think defined the lack of sense. I had so many resources to find something that I wanted to listen to, but nothing felt right. I was curious about the new Gorillaz album, so I listened to what they’ve released on Spotify, but that was only two tracks.

I did not have a satisfying lunch. And I mean that in practically every sense – too short, uninspiring meal, an overall feeling of inauthenticity. Next time, I will try to do a better job listening to a voice if I hear one.

I knew I needed to find something to make the mundane tolerable and that was music, but what music? Something new; something I hadn’t heard before. I had semi-scoured the lists of best albums for both this year and last. I had mostly already heard the stuff from the artists I’d heard of and didn’t have enough information to pick someone I hadn’t. I guess I was looking for a musical acquaintance to become more familiar with.

NPR’s First Listen series usually has good options and today they had a bunch to pick from, one of which being Bob Dylan’s latest. I think by the time “way-after-lunch” rolled around I was still feeling disconnected, but the feeling had grown more acute and distracting, so back on the music search I went. I tried listening to the Bob Dylan album because I realized that I was looking for something vaguely moody. But that was not the right album. Then I thought, The White Album. But is that on Spotify? I assume not, so I don’t look. Another option on the NPR site is Aimee Mann’s latest album, called “Mental Illness.” For some reason, Aimee Mann’s voice reminds me of what I think hip white liberal gen x-ers living in either the Pacific Northwest or suburban Midwest listen to. I definitely got that from movies and television.

Aimee’s music helps me focus on channeling my disconnected energy into free expression on a blank Word doc, the fruits of which you’re reading now. Because I knew I needed to get transported to a place of mild happiness and it didn’t matter what music I listened to – anything would’ve taken me on a necessary voyage elsewhere.