I am sitting in the dark because Tony has ostracized me from “our” bedroom. I turned the light on and he barked a few sentences, all involving the word “rude.” I replied with something to the effects of “my room, too/I don’t want to argue.” I ultimately seceded by turning off the lights, brushing my teeth and quietly sitting at my desk surrounded by darkness (beyond the extremities of my brightly-lit laptop, that is.)

Pretty soon, I’ll have to decide on my next move. Do I stay here, click-clacking away or do I make my way back, obnoxiously bumping into things along the way? He’ll think I’ll be doing it on purpose to prove a point, but the fact of the matter remains that I’ve gotten used to the darkness and all of its inspirational components. Would I have been able to transform yet another stupid brief argument into a half-filled Word document otherwise? I think not.

While typing the end of the previous sentence, my mind wandered to the expression/relationship philosophy “we accept the love we think we deserve.” That sentiment has never seemed true until now. Not sure why that is. What happens if the moment you realize that it’s true is immediately followed by the moment you decide to break up with someone? Once you act on that thought, you’ll be alone and accepting no love. Does that mean you’ll deserve it?

…And it seems that in as quickly as it took to write 3 sentences, that expression has lost all meaning again.